Watch Dogs 2 on PC (7/10)

Posted on

Watch Dogs 2 is pretty much a straight up Grand Theft Auto clone. But instead of playing an immoral mobster who kills and destroys to achieve his goals, you play a righteous hacker who kills and destroys to achieve his goals. I think the game is going for a light-hearted tone, but all the indiscriminate murdering kinda gets in the way of that. Mowing down waves of security guards doesn’t strike me as a appropriate response to an Internet company knowing your search history.

I suppose the humor is directed at Millennials, with their social medias and unending quest for likes and shares. The main characters are fashionable hipsters who trounce around pointing their phones at anything electronic in order to “hack” it (and if that doesn’t work, kill, kill, KILL!). You are literally causing all this mayhem in order to gain “followers” which will somehow strengthen your cause… I guess? I don’t know. The primary story line was goofy and not that interesting.

The main attraction here is the vast, open-world recreation of San Francisco. The detail is just astounding. The city is filled with collectible items and the usual sort of side quests that all of these open-world games have (the last three Ubisoft games I’ve played all feel like re-skinnings of the same system). This formula is getting pretty stale and without a catchy gimmick or an engaging story, these games can become a bit tedious after a while.

The main twist here is that you can use your mad haxxor skillz to make machines do your bidding. A scissor lift can take you to a rooftop, cars can crush foes on their own, junction boxes can be remotely blown up, and you can do something useless with traffic lights. The problem is, in most cases a gun did a better job at getting things done. I wanted to use stealth and tactics but it seemed like every time I used my “stealth” zapper, a guard on the other side of the map would hear me and then all bets were off. Maybe I just suck at the game, but at least I could buy Crocs™ foam shoes with my in-game earnings.

Rogue One (6/10)

Posted on

My first thought after walking out of the theater was, “huh, I don’t know a single character’s name from the movie I just watched.” This Star Wars spin-off is heavy on plot and light on characterization… and fun. I guess they were trying to make a more adult Star Wars, but, in-the-process, they lost a lot of what made the best of the series so good. Fortunately, there aren’t any embarrassing Jar-Jar moments and I have a feeling I may enjoy this more on second watching, but for me this was just so-so.

Progress: Ten Reasons to Look Forward to the Future by Johan Norberg (8/10)

Posted on

Johan Norberg wrote one of the clearest accounts of the 2007 financial meltdown and, after that dismal tale, he’s back with a more uplifting story. Politicians and partisans constantly tell us that things are worse than ever: more violence, more poverty, etc. Progress goes about showing that, in just about every important metric, the world is a measurably better place than it ever has been in the past. Fewer people die in wars, the world is cleaner, we are better educated, live longer, and the percentage of people in extreme poverty has dropped by double digits. So everyone just calm the hell down.

Shadowgrounds on PC (6/10)

Posted on

I’m a sucker for these top-down shooter games. This is the type of game I imagined playing back when the cutting edge AAA title was Berzerk for the 2600. I have yet to find one that actually rises to my expectations. Shadowgrounds is okay, but there is a clunkiness to the whole package that keeps it from being a great game.

Aside from the wooden voice acting and forgettable story, the combat needed to be amped up a little more. Enemies take several hits to kill and the battles all feel like your just running backwards and shooting. Maybe some better designed environments, with more options for exploration and interaction, would have made the difference. Or maybe just a more massive onslaught of easier to kill enemies and a more arcade feel would have been better. I don’t know.

The Walking Dead: Michonne on PC (8/10)

Posted on

This three episode tangent does not appear to be connected with the other Walking Dead games. Maybe some of the characters will make their way into season three, but for the most part this is about Michonne coming to grips with the loss of her daughters while helping a family survive from the usual assortment of humanity free bad guys. I enjoyed the game, but Telltale needs to push their formula a little more and add a bit more consequence to your actions.

Shaolin Tamo Systique (6/10)

Posted on

This was a strange disjointed kung-fu movie about a female wannabe Shaolin disciple who is taken under the tutelage of elderly hermit. The ten Kung-Fu Classic books are stolen from the temple and she is tasked with getting them back. But first she needs to learn all ten classic techniques… that… were stolen? Nothing in this movie makes any sense but it’s filled with wacky visuals (like stretchy arm boxing) to make up for the incoherence.

The Witch (8/10)

Posted on

This movie felt like a Hans Baldung woodcut brought to life. Set in a dark New England forest in the 1600’s, the characters all talk in a difficult to understand version of old English. Their family is being harassed by a witch and all sorts of creepy animals. Although you see the witch early in the film, she isn’t really in it much. The film is mostly about the deeply religious family coming apart as weird events happen and children disappear. I didn’t think that it was particularly scary, but the imagery really stuck with me. Especially the final moments of the movie when all is revealed.

Mascots (6/10)

Posted on

Christopher Guest has created another fake documentary about a bunch of characters trying to win a contest. This time they are trying to win the award for best team mascot. Amusing, but not nearly as good as some of his past efforts. I think I just didn’t like this younger group of actors as much as the SCTV-era comics from his other films.