Stylistically, The Messenger has a lot going for it: masterfully rendered pixel graphics and a rich chip-tune soundtrack. Come to think of it, that describes just about every “indie” game that is released these days. Unfortunately that’s not enough for me.

My biggest gripe with the game is that is based around an annoying mechanic in which you can double jump after successfully landing an attack. My thumbs were not designed for that twisting motion. I was constantly failing because I would simply miss buttons and success only came with random button mashing.

The first section of the game makes you think that this is simply a Super Meatboy collection of challenge levels, but just when I thought I was done, the game opens up and becomes yet another Metroidvania. Seriously, stop it with the Metroidvanias. Anyhow, you know it’s a bad sign when a game reveals that there are going to be hours more playtime and challenges but your reaction is disappointment.

More of the same from Blake Stone, our favorite Wolfenstein look-alike. There might be a few more enemies but they all kind of act the same anyways. I found myself using the same gun the whole time as I mindlessly traversed the mazes. It’s simple dumb fun and nowhere near the same class as Doom or Duke Nukem.

I really disliked this one. Overly long and rambling. It sets itself up as a murder mystery in which you know the victim and then introduces you to three other characters: a ruffian darts player, a family man, and the book’s author/narrator. The “twist” is apparent almost immediately within the first couple of chapters. You can probably guess it from my lame synopsis one sentence ago. It’s only my literary OCD that allowed me to finish this pompous stinker.

Here’s a wood engraving about the illusion of control within an emergent system. Also a pile of devil babies.

Ben Gazarra takes us on a tour of the heroin supply chain from Turkey to Sicily and finally New York. It has its moments but there is not much of a plot. It did have a sexy food eating scene not unlike this one.

Like just about everyone else, I liked this movie. I do fall into the camp that thinks the ending is a tad bit too goofy.

I played the original American McGee’s Alice back in the early 2000s when I was easily impressed by just about any 3-D game. It was probably a $5 bargain-bin CD-ROM from CompUSA, and I managed to finish it even though it was pretty bad.

This sequel is definitely much slicker looking, but beneath the goth-girl art direction it’s still a fairly uninspired platform game. The biggest problem is straightforward and boring level design. For example, you are given the ability to shrink down, but you never use this ability for anything except walking into secret keyhole rooms. This is the sort of mechanism that a Mario game would build an entire world around.

And then there’s the combat, which consists of locking on to a target and mashing the left mouse button. Half the time the camera is positioned in such a way that you can’t see what you are doing anyway. There are a couple of larger enemies that offer a little skill-based battling, but most of the time combat is just an annoyance.

The game really wants you to care about its story, but it’s just an incoherent, mumbled mess of found “memories” and illustrated cut scenes. In the end, the whole affair feels like a Psychonauts rip-off, and, in hindsight, that game wasn’t really that great either.

With this I have finally finished reading all the Mysteries of the Unknown books in my collection. This one seemed to have a good balance between skepticism, history, and strange phenomena. it also has one of the better covers in the series.

Do you long for the iron-fisted rule of Napoleon? Do you seek glory in battle? Have you memorized the Latin Bible? Then you too will root for our protagonist Julien as he tries to gain glory and status in a world without heroes. That description of the plot sounds a bit more exciting than the book really is, but it does represent the general themes of the story. Although there is dueling and a sprinkling of political intrigue, ninety percent of the book is Julien seducing women of society as a means to his ends. The novel is a little too long for my tastes but it managed to keep this pulp novel loving idiot engaged through all the mushy lovey-dovey bits.

A short Russian novella that details the final days of seven criminals who have been condemned to death. Most of the seven are from a group of terrorists who plotted to kill a minister. I guess we are supposed to sympathize with them but they all sound like brainwashed zealots to me. The point of the whole endeavor is probably to make a statement against capital punishment. Being as this book is over one hundred years old, I’d say, “Mission Accomplished?”

It’s the best movie about a cat since Milo and Otis and I’m pretty sure fewer animals were killed during the filming.

A famous modern artist is obsessed with an old Italian villa and the previous resident who died tragically. He spends much of his time brooding, then doing weird/dumb 60s cinematic artist stuff. Did all filmmakers in the 60s think artists would just have scantily clad models roll around in paint? Anyhow, it becomes a psychological drama/semi-horror film in the final act and, knowing the director, there is probably some sort of gobbledygook message about the working class and oppression. I liked it because it was goofy.

It was a little better than Project Hail Mary. Hurrah!

Here’s a silly little Web app that I had Claude.ai generate for me that will allow you to map out relationship names between family members and yourself. It arouse out of a discussion of what to call a grandparent’s brother’s grandchild. This app will clarify the whole first/second cousin once/twice removed thing and will allow you to family reunionize like a pro.

Goofy Woody Allen is better than serious Woody Allen by a long shot. A parody of Russian literature is not the most ripe area for comedy but he manages insert a joke every minute or so. In hindsight, Allen’s real-life persona just makes his on-screen character come across as a perverted creep rather than a lovable loser.