Japanese horror that draws almost note for note from Italian gore-maestro Lucio Fulci–synthy score, gratuitous eye gag, sound f/x track that is comprised almost entirely of someone stirring a bowl of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. Not quite a classic, but there are some nice misdirections and twists in the set pieces.

Shephen Chow’s family movie that follows the formula laid out in E.T. a couple of decades ago. Chow knows his craft. Just when you think the movie has started to drift off track his pulls it back on track. The ending is a little lame.

“Imperial battleship, halt the flow of time!” This is some awesome trash. Mostly crap, but pay attention to the score by John Barry(!) and the beautiful widescreen shot framing.

Not at all worthy of it predecessors, Inferno & Suspiria, but at least it takes no prisoners when it comes to over-the-top violence–I’d recommend seeing if only for that. The plot and setting drifts around way too much, and, at times, the film just … looks cheap and amateurish–Daria Nicolodi as Obi-Wan Kenobi, lame. I have a feeling I may enjoy it a little more on a second viewing, but I’ll hold off on that until I get annoyed by Argento’s next disaster.

Not bad, considering the “monster” is not in the least bit scary. The initial set-up is a bit slow, but it picks up to become a fairly well-paced film. Kinda like a mix between Cabin Fever and the TV show Survivor.

Surprisingly, I was entertained by this. Yes, it’s an Italian Alien rip-off, but Alien was itself rip off of the Italian Sci-Fi film, Planet of the Vampires So there.

Horrible CGI and, except for a handful of gags, not worth your time.

This entry into the series suffers from long stretches not much of anything happening. I suppose you could argue that it’s nice to see some character development for a change. But the chugging plot and sense of amazement that usually permeates the series is absent here.

Entertaining but thoroughly confused monster movie. The over-the-top comedic moments tend to jar you out of the already paper thin story. There is no suspense whatsoever and you will be puzzled as to why 95% of the time no one seems to care that there is a 40 foot monster running around killing people.

Horrible story, horrible acting, and wall-to-wall fakey Japanese schoolgirl gore. I enjoyed every second of it.