Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood on PC (6/10)

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I enjoyed the original Call of Juarez and its spin-off, Gunslinger, but this one didn’t really grab me. It tries to mix things up by letting you play each level as one of two characters, Ray or Thomas. But, in the end, it’s still just a very standard shooter with bland environments and no real weapon variety. I guess learning Ray’s backstory (this is a prequel) was interesting and there was a real attempt to craft some genuine character development. Otherwise, it was just so-so to me.

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel on PC (8/10)

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Okay, here’s another Borderlands sequel. Actually, this is more of a large expansion pack to Borderlands 2—using the same engine and most of the same mechanics. The only new additions are the low-gravity environments and oxygen management. Admittedly, the ability to jump hundreds of feet into the air is pretty fun and opens up many of the levels, but, in the end, it’s still the same old game: run towards the map marker and shoot anything that gets in your way. Your reward is more guns and a mediocre story (unlike the excellent Tales from the Borderlands). Woo hoo. But really, the point here is that you are supposed to experience this mediocrity with friends and, as I begrudgingly have to admit, this is the best co-op game play experience out there these days. In the future, I would love to see more actual team-based tasks. You know, one guy holds the door while the other takes point or whatever military squads do when the aren’t practicing the Harlem Shake.

Radiant Historia on Nintendo DS (8/10)

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I bought Radiant Historia based on its reputation as one of, if not THE best RPG on the Nintendo DS. Well, it’s a JRPG so take that praise with a grain of salt. In fact, when I first got it, I managed to clock about 20 hours but eventually got distracted by other games. It’s easy to lose focus from this extremely text-heavy game. Once again, many clicks are wasted on redundant “…” dialogue boxes and the accompanying, un-skippable “…” word bubble animations. So, it took four years and a fun romp through Etrian Odyssey for me to muster the energy to attempt another play through. Rather than pick up where I left off, trying to remember the convoluted plot up to that point, I started anew. During this run I would try my darndest to differentiate between all the cutesy anime characters and not lose focus.

The main touted selling point of Radiant Historia usually is its complex time-travelling plot. At first, being able to redo past events to alter the current ones is an nice mechanism. However, once you are deep into the game and there are dozens of points to which you need to return again and again, it becomes a drag and a nuisance. For me it didn’t help that there seemingly was no way to skip the endless cut-scenes (I discovered it’s the “start” button about 30 hours in). Despite the grandiose concept, there isn’t that much in terms of branching story lines that would, like a Telltale game, lead to a unique game for each player. The plot is really only divided into two main branches. Any choices which deviate from these two lead to a short text blurb and a dead end (if you want to get 100% completion you need to follow all these dead ends too). If anything, repeatedly visiting all those moments and re-reading all that dialogue at least helped me understand what the heck was going on. Angsty warrior must stave off impending ecological disaster and bring unity to warring the races of furries. Got it.

All that aside, where the game actually shines is its combat system. Enemies appear on a 3×3 grid and their positioning effects the strength of their attacks and the amount of damage you can inflict. Players can then use special powers to knock monsters around the grid, stack them together and chain combos for stronger attacks. Also, because the main theme here is time manipulation, you can control the player initiative track and sacrifice a turn to set up bigger combos. It takes the standard, mindless JRPG combat mechanism and adds a puzzley layer of thinking to your choices. Most combat is avoidable if you are quick, but I actually found myself opting-in to battles more often than not. Too bad 70% of the game is talking, otherwise I would have scored it higher.

Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter (7/10)

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Amazon recommended this movie to me probably because I have watched a lot of Kung-Fu movies lately? I think we can relax about the singularity and A.I. for the time being. Turns out the computer who picked this one is a moron. Not that this is a bad movie, it’s just a little weak on the Kung-Fu. What it does have is a stereotypical indie film look and feel. There are lots of overly-long shots that linger on compositions that, no doubt, the director thought were gaze-worthy. If that’s what you need to do to get to feature-length, fine. Fortunately, the story of a crazy Japanese girl who’s obsessed with finding the money from Fargo had enough going for it to keep me from being bored.

The Mist (6/10)

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I knew most of the story of The Mist from an abridged book an tape that we listened to as kids on some long car trip. Like a lot of Stephen King stories, it’s a dumb concept that, when made into a film, depends more on the directing than the plot. Fortunately, this movie does the clichéd apocalypse survivor thing pretty well. Take a bunch of folks from all walks of life, trap them together, and watch as they devolve into anarchy as the looming threat grows. The pacing is good but the CGI monsters are terrible and that ending… well, it comes from out of nowhere in a way that makes no sense with the characters we’ve watched (sorta) develop over the course of the movie.

Red Queen Kills Seven Times (8/10)

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This is the follow up to Emilio Miraglia’s The Night Evelyn Came Out of the GraveRed Queen sits more firmly in the traditional giallo structure of a modern (well, 1970’s modern) murder mystery with touches of horror and gore. There is much stronger plotting and characterization and it’s overall a better movie. I wouldn’t quite put it on the upper tier of giallos, but there a few iconic moments that make it better than average.

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory by Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newly - CD (8/10)

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Well, Gene Wilder died a this week so it’s fitting that the next CD in my queue would be the Willy Wonka soundtrack. Gen X’ers are filled with tons of nostalgia over this movie and the songs therein, but can any of us sing a single line from “Cheer Up Charlie?” Nope. That song is trash that nobody remembers. The rest of the CD is filled with gems like “Candy Man”—a personal favorite because it is my go-to karaoke track. Also, there’s quite a bit of film dialogue between songs, which is always a plus for me.

The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave (7/10)

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This one’s a strange Gothic horror and giallo hybrid. Meaning, lot’s of cool 70’s décor within an ancient castle. Very early on it’s established that the main character is a prostitute killing psychopath, and yet we are supposed to care that he is being haunted by the ghost of his dead wife. Like a lot of these Italian films, the plot is an afterthought. Stylish visuals, lots of nudity and a brilliant Bruno Nicolai score are the focus here.

The Flying Guillotine (7/10)

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A reasonably good martial arts movie that borrows a lot of its plot structure directly from The One-Armed Swordsman. The star of the show here is the titular guillotine: a giant yo-yo/bird cage that lands on an enemy’s head and does its work. At times it feels like a slasher movie as the guillotine effortlessly claims its victims one after another. There isn’t much fight choreography here, and overall it’s pretty silly, but I was entertained through most of it.

Etrian Odyssey on Nintendo DS (8/10)

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Etrian Odyssey is an old-school RPG in the vein of Wizardy or The Bard’s Tale. That is, you assemble a party of adventurers, go to a town hub to gather quests and equipment, then delve into an uncharted labyrinth killing monsters and mapping your progress. There isn’t much of a story to follow here. Your goal is to find the “secret of the labyrinth” which, spoiler alert, has something to do with global warming (97% of scientists agree this is a dumb twist). Exploration and combat are the real core of the game, and the mapping of the maze is the primary gimmick. A task for which the DS is excellently suited. No need for graph paper. Just use the stylus and mark your map directly in the game. I can’t tell you how frustrating it was playing Bard’s Tale, carefully mapping away, only to have my time-consuming efforts foiled when the map ran off the edge of the graph paper. I’d then have to tape a second piece to the side or, worse, start over from scratch.

I’m sure there a lot of players who would still be turned off by the thought of not having an auto-map feature, but I find it oddly rewarding. In a way it gives the game a casual feel, almost like completing a Picross puzzle. This is despite the hard-as-nails difficultly of the actual game-play. The game is relentless in throwing random encounters at you. Many of the spells and power-ups try to address this by temporarily lowering the chance of battles. But these random fights are pretty much par for the course in Japanese role-playing games and which is why I typically try to avoid JRPGs (Phantasy Star being another exception). However, in this instance they are the core of the experience. Never fear, there is a gentle progression as your characters gather experience and skills. In each case as I worked my way through a new level’s difficult monsters, by the time I reached the next stratum (the labyrinth’s sections), I was easily steam rolling over the those same monsters who were troubling me a few floors earlier. Mindless, yes… but, even with the general lack of narrative, also weirdly satisfying.