2011
House of the Devil
I went into this film not knowing anything about it and ended up liking it despite the slow, SLOW... more
Barbarella
After having read the comic a few months back I thought it would be a good time to finally... more
Pulse
Woah! Joey Lawrence fights a sentient electricity monster. This is a lame made-for-TV quality film that takes forever to... more
Tron Legacy
A lot of nerds were really excited by the prospect of a Tron sequel. What they all seemed to fail to... more
The Green Slime
This is a late sixties Japanese monster movie but it stars mostly Western actors. The rubber-suit monsters, space ships... more
2010
Black Mama White Mama
And here we go again with what I thought was going to be another sleazy women in prison movie.... more
Women in Cages
This was another grind house era women in prison movie. I suppose the twist here is that Pam Grier... more
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane
This was a slight twist on a typical teen slasher movie. A very, very slight twist which you will... more
Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
This film was next in line in my recent rash of bad movies: Troll 2… Birdemic. Unlike those Legendary... more
Whip and the Body
I finally got around to watching this highly regarded Mario Bava film and it is definitely one of his... more
Megamind
A typical post-Shrek CGI animated feature. This was the first modern 3-D movie I have seen in the theater.... more
Hercules Against the Barbarians
How’s this for a novel concept: the reason Poles were able to defend their realm against the invading armies... more
9th Company
This is nothing you haven’t seen a hundred times before in war movies. The Russian perspective of Afganistan is... more
Dario Argento’s Phantom of the Opera
After watching this, I think I am pretty close to having seen all of Argento’s films. I held off... more
Best Worst Movie
I’ve written about Troll 2 here before. Basically, Troll 2 is the epitome of a so-bad-it’s-good movie. Best Worst Movie is a documentary that follows several... more
Friday Foster
You know you are in trouble when the most convincing performance in your film is by Isaac from The Love... more
The Incredible Hulk
Yet another superhero movie to bore me. I admit, this one was more watchable than Ironman. I guess I am... more
Anthropophagus
For a movie that is so infamous for its gore, there certainly isn’t much to see here. The shock... more
Ironman
I am sick of superhero movies. Robert Downey Jr. gives a lively performance as Tony Stark, but, other than... more
Get Lamp
Get Lamp is a documentary about text adventure games from Jason Scott, the director of BBS: The Documentary. Both of these... more
Despicable Me
I went in to this film ready to hate it but it wasn’t that bad. It follows the same... more
Up
If they cut this film off at about 15 minutes it would have been a near-perfect short film. Unfortunately,... more
Birdemic: Shock and Terror
Incredibly bad film. Horrible acting, dialog and effects. The net result is an incredibly fun, so-bad-it’s-good movie that you... more
Survival of the Dead
Another modern zombie movie that doesn’t even attempt to be scary. I guess the Hatfields vs. McCoy setup could... more
Lucio Fulci’s Conquest
The Spanish/Mexican/Italian answer to Conan or Clash of the Titans. This one feels more like the latter except with lots of topless... more
Resident Evil
Another movie that has no reason for being enjoyable, and yet I thought it was pretty good. This could... more
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
This should be an awful movie. The fact that it is produced by Adam Sandler should be enough of... more
Battle Royale
Another Japanese movie. This one is about a future where the only way to keep those rotten kids under... more
Uzumaki
Japanese horror movie about a town in which the inhabitants slowly become mesmerized by uzumaki. Uzumaki translates to spirals. Mind you, this is... more
Perversion Story
A pre-gore Lucio Fulci giallo that, like most of Fulci’s films, looks great with plenty of wonderful close ups... more
Spider Baby
This is a cult classic from what I hear. I thought it was pretty good but not great-a little too... more
The Twelve Chairs
Mel Brooks’s second feature doesn’t do much to differentiate itself from every other late 60’s era comedy. I found... more
How to Train Your Dragon
Hackneyed story benefits from some amazing computer animation. Basically, it’s yet another retelling of E.T. where kid finds animal/alien/monster/robot,... more
Zombieland
This was a somewhat refreshing take on the zombie genre with funny, Zombie Survival Guide inspired narration. The movie does come... more
Split Second
A terrible sci-fi monster movie where the action exists mainly in the form of Rutger Hauer grabbing other characters... more
You Don’t Mess With The Zohan
A heavy handed attempt at goofball comedy that fails at least 95% of the time. The makers of this... more
Gamer
I can’t believe this is not a SciFi Channel movie. It’s okay, I guess, but the film tries too... more
Moon
Finally a sci-fi movie that isn’t all about special effects (although there are plenty subtle effects to be seen... more
The Maltese Falcon
Although the plot seems to bounce around from time to time, this is about as hardboiled as hardboiled detective... more
District 9
A good well-paced sci-fi action movie. Didn’t quite live up to the the hype and is mostly noteworthy because... more
Troll 2
Yes, it’s as bad as you’ve heard. Definately falls under the “so bad it’s good” category. I would recommend... more
Black Dynamite
This is not so much a parody as a straight-up recreation of a low budget 70s black exploitation film.... more
Zonbi Jieitai
No-budget Japanese zombie movie with a dumb story a few good gore shots and lots of horrible iMovie-quality digital... more
Giallo
Giallo isn’t quite the return to form I wanted from Dario Argento, but it’s a much better movie than the... more
Une vieille maîtresse
A somewhat miscast French costume drama based on a 19th Century erotic novel. The male lead is played by... more
Terminator Salvation
For the first 20 minutes or so I couldn’t see why this film got such bad reviews. I was... more
2009
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The series chugs along. Number three is still the best movie of the series, but this one performs as... more
The Devil Rides Out
This is another film that just begs for more creepy atmosphere. As it is, it feels too much like... more
The House with the Laughing Windows
I think I have a bias against films where the protagonist has a beard, unless said film contains magic... more
Rec
Another shaky handheld camera horror movie ala Blair Witch Project or Cloverfield. This style is getting a little old now, but this... more
Conan the Barbarian
Back when I was a kid I had seen Conan the Barbarian sequel Conan the Destroyer at least half-a-dozen times. It was rated... more
The Big Doll House
The Big Doll House is a 70s women-in-prison film which featured Pam Grier in more of a supporting role. The... more
Coffy
Another Pam Grier blaxploitation film cut from the same cloth as Foxy Brown. This one is not as well paced... more
Foxy Brown
This is the first film I am watching in my Pam Grier film fest and it’s a good one.... more
Meatball Machine
After seeing The Machine Girl I was itching for more Japanese splatter, but it turns out most of these movies suck.... more
Supercop
Pretty good Jackie Chan faire. Not his best, but plenty of good action here.
Oira Sukeban
An excuse to have a lot of topless women fight in poorly choreographed battles, while the camera zooms in... more
Quantum of Solace
While still better than the majority of post-Connery Bond films, this one lacks the intrigue and story of Casino Royale.... more
Max Payne
A lot of people hated this movie, but I thought it was pretty darn good. Okay, the demons were a... more
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
Well, someone finally found a film genre that hadn’t been parodied—the rock bio pic. They pull it off relatively... more
My Name Is Bruce
Bruce Campbell’s self-depricating monster movie. Somewhat of a big in-joke, but I found myself laughing a few times.
Chocolate
Well done Kung-Fu flick about a retarded girl who knows how to fight.
Tokyo Gore Police
Japanese splatter. Despite the gore, it gets boring pretty quickly.
The French Sex Murders
Mediocre giallo from Dick Randall and Mondo Macabro. UPDATE: This one really grows on you when you realize how... more
The Dark Knight
Even better than Batman Begins.
Sabata
A better-than-most Spaghetti Western with high-flying acrobatics.
Sukiyaki Western Django
Super stylish Japanese tribute to Spaghetti Westerns. Only hindered by the thick Japanese accents.
Wall-E
A fun movie but it felt shallow in the the end to me.
El Orfanato (The Orphanage)
Very good ghost story from the producers of Pan’s Labyrynth.
The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things
Dark story of child abuse and drugs.
Get Carter
Still not sure what I think of this. A brutal character study of an anti-hero with a confusing plot.
2008
Enchanted
Mildly Entertaining Disney faire
The Happening
Bad acting and a cheesy premise.
Cloverfield
Very well done fake-real video horror.
The Case of the Scorpion’s Tail
This is a pretty top-notch Giallo. It has George Hilton, Luigi Pistilli, a black hatted killer, bloody murder set... more
The Odessa File
Lacks the pacing that could have made this a great spy thriller, and many of the performances are quite... more
The Love Guru
A lot of people said this was horrible, but I didn’t mind it so much. Funny but completely lacking... more
Tropic Thunder
Entertaining war film parody. A little bit too much of an action film at the end.
Kung Fu Panda
Decent animated feature that’s completely cliche, but enjoyable.
La Decima Vittima
A quirky 60’s sci-fi thriller meets bedroom farce. Fairly entertaining but the ending is muddled.
Simpsons: The Movie
Like a long medicore episode. Very disappointing.
Casino Royale
The best bond since the Spy Who Loved Me. The emphasis is on character development instead of over-the-top action... more
Evil Dead Trap
Japanese horror that draws almost note for note from Italian gore-maestro Lucio Fulci–synthy score, gratuitous eye gag, sound f/x... more
CJ7
Shephen Chow’s family movie that follows the formula laid out in E.T. a couple of decades ago. Chow knows... more
Starcrash
“Imperial battleship, halt the flow of time!” This is some awesome trash. Mostly crap, but pay attention to the... more
La Terza Madre: The Third Mother
Not at all worthy of it predecessors, Inferno & Suspiria, but at least it takes no prisoners when it... more
The Ruins
Not bad, considering the “monster” is not in the least bit scary. The initial set-up is a bit slow,... more
Contamination
Surprisingly, I was entertained by this. Yes, it’s an Italian Alien rip-off, but Alien was itself rip off of... more
Space Chimps
Horrible CGI and, except for a handful of gags, not worth your time.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
This entry into the series suffers from long stretches not much of anything happening. I suppose you could argue... more
The Host
Entertaining but thoroughly confused monster movie. The over-the-top comedic moments tend to jar you out of the already paper... more
The Machine Girl
Horrible story, horrible acting, and wall-to-wall fakey Japanese schoolgirl gore. I enjoyed every second of it.
Ratatoulli
The most visually impressive and stylized Pixar movie
Spiderman 3
In desparate need of some editing, this film runs about 1 hour too long with way too many lame... more
Superbad
Entertaining, but not quite laugh-out-loud funny. 40-year-old virgin was better.
Ti piace Hitchcock? (Do You Like Hitchcock?)
Actually, I liked this. Argento’s painterly style is nowhere to be found but I thought the story never was... more
The Stendhal Syndrome
The best of the post-Opera Argento films. Has moments of sheer brilliance, but plenty of crappy parts too. The... more
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Entertaining, but didn’t really feel like an Indiana Jones film. Maybe it was too effects driven, rather than stunt... more
Dario Argento’s Trauma
It has its moments, but Trauma suffers from horrible dialogue (even for Argento), a wholly inappropriate score and many... more
The House of Exorcism
An entertaining rethink of Lisa and the Devil.