I’m sure I would have enjoyed this more if I had watched it with friends and alcohol. Samurai Cop is a classic “so bad it’s good” movie with terrible acting, writing and directing. It’s filled with typical z-movie inexplicable moments and several painfully long love scenes. The best part of the movie is Frank the side kick and his goofy expressions.
This sequel to the classic Apple ][ adventure game Transylvania has you returning to the same locations as the first game once again to fight the evil Vampire. The game is twice as big and is a bit more refined. I played the updated 1985 version of the game which runs on the Comprehend game engine which is probably the best implementation of a text/graphics hybrid adventure system. You can use a few prepositions and, in this game, you can command other characters to complete puzzles.
The game spans both sides of a 5.25″ floppy and offers around fifty locations to explore. There’s not much room for text on the screen, but the writing is generally pretty good within those three lines. You can always hit return and read the last six or so responses.
Unlike other games from this era, The Crimson Crown actually wants you to have fun and possibly win the game. During the early parts you will get visits from a sage who offers clues to puzzles you have not yet encountered. If that wasn’t enough, the game originally came packaged with a coded hint book too. As a copy protection there is a set of riddles to solve at the very start of the game that require the sealed letter from the game box. For the record, I could only get one of the three answers. But once you pass that challenge the game is more forgiving.
I think I managed to get about 85% of the way through without help. That seems pretty good, but that 15% came mostly from the very last set of puzzles. Feeling stupid is not a fun way to end a gaming experience.
Transylvania is a hybrid text/graphical adventure originally for the Apple ][. This was a big hit back in the day and was ported to just about every other 8-bit machine. I loved these types of adventure games but was really, really bad at them. In hindsight, most of them were brutally unfair and prone to the bad game design cliches of the era such as instant death and guess-the-verb puzzles. Still, I remember seeing screenshots of that menacing werewolf in issues of Softalk or A+ magazine and wanting to try this game.
Playing Transylvania for the first time after so many years, I was surprised by its fairness (for the most part). I played the slightly updated 1985 version which was recently clean cracked by 4am.
The first rule in attempting to beat an adventure game is to make a detailed map. This time I went all “pro-gear” by using Trizbort to digitally map the game world:
This map proved essential in evading the werewolf during the early phases of the game. Trying to escape through an exit that doesn’t exist will result in a quick death. With a basic knowledge of movie monster lore, you will eventually start to see what you need to do to get rid of this baddie. I only needed to turn to hints twice. The first time involved a darkened room. I was so preoccupied with finding a light source… must… get… lamp… I failed to try basic exploration within the darkened environment.
I required a second hint in, what I’d consider, the game’s only unfair puzzle. In order to get a crucial object you will need to perform an action that is described in one of the game’s “feelies”. So, if you plan to try to tackle this game (the 1985 version), seek out the original manual, etc. on the Web before playing.
I think this might be the fourth Italian horror movie I’ve seen that’s based on Poe’s story, The Black Cat. None of them actually follow the original story except for the inclusion of the titular cat and a scene where someone is bricked up behind a basement wall. This is Lucio Fulci’s take and, as such, includes a little bit of corny gore (the burning scene is probably the best) and a lot extreme close-up eye shots. Outside of the beautiful photography and R-rated elements, this seems like a made for T.V. movie.
I assumed that they would have hired actual disabled people to star in this and expected it to be a little more tasteless than it was. Alas, the lead “cripples” are all played by actual abled kung-fu masters. They do show a child having his arms off, so there’s that. It also features a man being turned into an idiot through head compression. Apparently rudimentary medical science isn’t really that big in Hong Kong. The main focus here is acrobatic fighting with hoops, chains and poles. The disabilities don’t really play into the fighting styles beyond the initial training montages.
It’s a quirky comedy. A quirkedy! Just about everything about this movie is deliberately strange. The plot is basically a joke setup expanded to feature length… a guy walks into a bar with three arms… hilarity ensues. There was enough going on here to keep me entertained even though I felt it needed something more. Or maybe something less? When every character in the movie is an extreme caricature, there’s nobody to latch on to by staying grounded in some vestige of reality. Marty comes close and, with his plastered hair and awkward stage presence, he is the blueprint for Neil Hamburger.
I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a sequel to Tricky Brains, but it’s just as bad as that film. This is filled with Hong Kong pop culture references and lame jokes and nothing really works. All of the conflict is resolved with weird Asian poker games that make no sense to me.
Stephen Chow is an arrogant T.V. chef who is dethroned and must cook his way back to the top. Much of the humor is cultural and flew over my head, but there’s enough of Chow’s usual fantasy slapstick to keep me interested. However, it’s not even close to the quality of his work in the 2000s. The highlight of the movie is Nancy Sit’s cameo as a mean, dancing food critic.
We are already two generations beyond the Wii and I am still getting caught up on all the games I’ve been wanting to play for years.
Red Steel 2 was the first big title to take advantage of the Wii Motion Plus controller. For some reason, the prospect of a motion controlled sword fighting game was always a big thing. I think Red Steel 2 comes close to fulfilling that nerd dream. It still is a bit of a waggle freak-out during hectic fights, but, when it’s focused, the motion controls work very well. This is a massive improvement on the previous game in the series.
I’m not even sure why this had to be a sequel. The plot and setting have no perceivable connection with the gangster themed original. This game takes place in a steampunk-ish, old-west-but-Japanese setting. It feels a whole lot like Borderlands in tone and art style. After the first few wacky cut-scenes I realized that there was not going to be any sort of coherent narrative. Something about a sword and a guy who wants your sword? Whatever. What matters here is that the game is fun.
As I have stated elsewhere on this Web site, the Wii’s controls are really good when it comes to console FPSs. The movement, shooting and sword controls very natural. Sure the sword strikes could have probably been bound to buttons, but the motions make sense. There should have been dozen of games like this released for the Wii, too bad this came so late in its life-cycle.
Man, Stephen Chow has been making the same movie over and over for more than two decades. Don’t get me wrong, I usually like the end result, but maybe try something a little different? The basics, Stephen Chow goes from loser to kung-fu master with tons of slapstick and dated movie references along the way. I do enjoy how he can take a throw-away joke from earlier and then bring it back in to focus later on in a way that makes the original effort seem like it was somehow important to the story (Garfield mask?!).
