It’s been quite some time since I tackled a Sierra 3-D adventure game (See my reviews of Kings’s Quest I, II & III and Leisure Suit Larry). I’ve said it before, but I just love the unique pixelated artwork and animation of all these games.
I don’t think I ever finished this game as a kid, but I must have gotten pretty far since I was able to progress through most of the game this time without much trouble (if only I had a video game blog when I was 13 years old). These Sierra games are notoriously unfair. Exploration and experimentation will get you killed without warning. As infuriating as that could be, I usually don’t mind because half the fun of the game is finding all the strange and gruesome ways you can die. The only part of the game that is really sucks is that you need to gamble in order to earn money at one point. There is no way to get past that section without relying on game saves and constant restoring. This could be fun if the game-within-a-game relied on skill or strategy, but it’s just a simple luck-based slot machine (that can kill you). But still, you gotta love the cameos from The Blues Brothers and ZZ Top.
This was a beautifully shot Sergio Martino giallo. We soon find out what Mrs. Wardh’s (no that’s not a typo) vice is and then quickly forget it since it has little or nothing to do with the convoluted plot. There are some nice twists and turns, none of which are even remotely believable. But the film is never boring and, in addition to the early 70s swinger vibe, there is also plenty of George Hilton euro-stud badassery.
This is essentially the same game as Doom 3 except with the lights turned on and fewer monster closets. What both these games do well is provide tons of satisfying gun-play but with only the barest of story lines to keep you motivated to continue. I think the plot of this one was to find the big button that will win this war, but first find these three lesser (but still challenging) buttons. There is some variety in the form of a few turret and driving missions, but for the most part this is nine hours of pure arcade style run-and-gun action.
The original Duke Nukem 3D was perhaps the best of the first wave of FPS games. I also really liked Rise of the Triad and, of course, Doom but Duke was filled with tasteless humor, pop-culture references and a richly interactive world. For some reason Duke Nukem Forever has only a 53 Meta Critic rating and I can’t for the life of me see why. Sure its was released about 8 years too late and it doesn’t really bring anything new to the genre, but everything that was great about the original game is still here. I felt like there was just about the right amount of variety in game play and I especially liked the levels where I was shrunken to action-figure size and made to navigate through giant jars of mayo and mustard. I guess the only big difference here (outside of the expected technological improvements) is that they have brought the tastelessness more to the forefront of the design—the game opens with you standing in front of a urinal controlling a stream of pee. I’m glad this game finally was released and I hope that the franchise will live on, but, fellas, please just try to release next one sometime this decade so that the references are somewhat more timely.
File this one under the “What were we thinking back then?” column. In 1991, this was the bees knees in and around my campus apartment but it has since lost much of its luster. The titular track is a rap parody, I guess? Or ironic rap? In any event, it’s poorly executed and clumsy (perhaps on purpose) with forced lyrics. The song mocks closed-minded rednecks and such, but, in hindsight, I get the feeling that RevCo were the close-minded ones with their myopic view of Southerners. Musically, this stuff hasn’t aged well either. In ’91 it took a rack of hardware synths and sequencers to pull this off, but nowadays a teenager with Garage Band on his Mac can create more interesting songs. The two live tracks are a little less jarring and offer a nugget (a chocolate nugget?) of what it was that attracted me to this band twenty years ago.
This is the original 1965 record that inspired the Phantom Surfers to create their great slot car themed record. The Go Sound was conceived as a way to cash in on the early 60s popularity of slot car racing. Once you get past the ridiculous thematic hook, this is really just a great, classic surf and drag record by The Hondells. The best line is from “My Baby Dig Slot Car Racing” when they sing (without a hint of irony) about a girl with “a heavy hand on a rheostat.”
This is the game that forced me to update my video card last year. I remember playing the first Far Cry and thinking that that was about as close to reality as games could ever get. The sequel leaps and bounds ahead of the original in the looks department. Unfortunately, the game-play does not match the quality level of the visuals. Unlike the first game, Far Cry 2 is a mission-based open-world game alá Grand Theft Auto. Unlike GTA, the missions are all exactly the same: drive to an indicated point on the map; along the way shoot guys at various checkpoints (which you swear you killed last time you drove though there); find the target; kill the target while fending off waves of identical thugs; finally, drive to next mission spot on map and kill the same guards you killed on the way to the last mission… again and again. Far Cry 1 had open levels, but at least they proceeded in a linear fashion that drove a story along. This game has zero story and eventually I just wanted it to end so I could get my $4.99 worth of gaming in and then move on to something else.
I missed out on the original Tomb Raider game in the 90s. I think I downloaded the demo and thought, “This isn’t Doom, or even remotely Doom-like” and then proceeded to erase it from my 450mb hard drive. It wasn’t until I played the franchise reboot Tomb Raider: Legend that I understood what all the hoopla was about. I had to set aside my blood-lust and come to grips with the fact that the game is primarily about platforming and puzzle solving.
Underworld continues that gameplay tradition by pitting Lara Croft against various ancient death machines that all seem to run on elaborate systems of gears and pulleys. You can climb, wall jump, balance on columns, swing from ropes, drag towering structures with your bare hands and numerous other ridiculous actions. This type of reality defying acrobatics is exactly the sort of thing that ruins CGI driven movies but make video games so awesome. You really get to feel like you have superhuman skill even though all you are doing is sinking back in your desk chair, twitching your mouse every few seconds and occasionally hitting the pause button so you can sip your Diet Dr. Pepper.
This game is a couple of years old and I was still blown away by how great the graphics look. I’d say that the jungle settings here look even better than that graphics whore Far Cry 2 ever did. Even more impressive than the visuals is the symphonic score that features tons epic choral arrangements that make “O’ Fortuna” seem like a tin pan alley ukulele number.
The story picks up right where The Colour of Magic with our heroes tumbling off the edge of the world. Book two in the Discworld series is more of the same easy, light-hearted reading as book #1. I wouldn’t call it a “page turner,” but there’s enough imaginative characters and situations to keep it interesting.
I think this is pretty much the antithesis of the kind of music I like. I find Lou Reed (at least this solo stuff) mind-numbingly boring. I suppose he turns an interesting phrase lyrically, but, if that’s what your interested in, read a book or go to a poetry slam. Ah, the joys of having merged my CD collection with my wife’s.
