Movie Log: By Rating

Here are my movies listed in order or ranking, from best to worst. Ratings subject to change at any time.

Spirits of the Dead

5/10
Only the last of the three stories in this horror anthology is worth watching. It’s directed by Frederico Fellini... more

Star Trek Beyond

5/10
The destruction of this venerable brand continues in this latest reboot sequel. This is not the contemplative sci-fi of... more

The Antichrist

5/10
Starts out interesting but loses focus in the second, exorcist wannbe, half.

The Big Doll House

5/10
The Big Doll House is a 70s women-in-prison film which featured Pam Grier in more of a supporting role. The... more

The City of the Living Dead (a.k.a. The Gates of Hell)

5/10
More Fulci horror. Not much in terms of memorable scenes here, just the tacked-on drilled head scene. The zombies... more

The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb

5/10
The second film on the Icons of Horror: Hammer Films is a disappointment. It’s completely devoid of any suspense or tension... more

The Decent: Part 2

5/10
A completely unnecessary sequel that really has to defy all logic in order to get the cast members from... more

The Devil’s Possessed

5/10
Never mind the satanically suggestive title, this is just a cheesy riff on Robin Hood. Naschy plays the king... more

The Etruscan Kills Again

5/10
An alcoholic archeologist (aren’t they all?) is at the center of this murder mystery that jumps from scene to... more

The Heroic Ones

5/10
This Shaw Brothers kung-fu swordsman epic is a bit of an overly long mess. The “heroic” characters are kinda... more

The Horrible Dr. Hichcock

5/10
This was directed by Riccardo Freda but I wouldn’t be surprised if Bava had some behind the scenes role.... more

The House with the Laughing Windows

5/10
I think I have a bias against films where the protagonist has a beard, unless said film contains magic... more

The Neon Demon

5/10
Although billed as a thriller, this is just art film garbage. I guess the point is to show of... more

The Odessa File

5/10
Lacks the pacing that could have made this a great spy thriller, and many of the performances are quite... more

The Omega Man

5/10
This classic sets itself up as a last man on Earth drama, but within five minutes kills that premise.... more

The Rise of Skywalker

5/10
This was an entertaining mess. I thought The Force Awakens was great, but it is so sad that whatever... more

The Suspicious Death of a Minor

5/10
A forgettable Italian police drama starring a guy who looks like a young Victor Davis Hansen. Plot was something... more

The Tricky Master

5/10
I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a sequel to Tricky Brains, but it’s just as bad as... more

The Wind Rises

5/10
This has to be the worst Studio Ghibli film I’ve seen. Of course it’s beautiful, but if it wasn’t... more

Thor

5/10
Fish out of water parts were okay. The stuff in Middle Earth was really dumb.

Tombs of the Blind Dead

5/10
Spain’s answer to Night of the Living Dead is slow moving and pretty stupid. These aren’t straight-up zombies. They are the... more

Tricky Brains

5/10
Having seen the horrible Fight back to School I wasn’t expecting much from this early Stephen Chow comedy. This one at... more

Troll 2

5/10
Yes, it’s as bad as you’ve heard. Definately falls under the “so bad it’s good” category. I would recommend... more

Twinkle Twinkle Lucky Stars

5/10
Sammo Hung directs and stars in this incoherent mess of a movie. You would never know he’s the star... more

Two Evil Eyes

5/10
This is a horror anthology film featuring two stories, one by George Romero and the other by Dario Argento.... more

Voices from Beyond

5/10
Well, you can generally count on Lucio Fulci for at least one fun scene in any movie he creates.... more

Warning from Space

5/10
The most notable thing from this 1964 Japanese sci-fi movie is silly the starfish alien designs. The point of... more

Zombi 4: After Death

5/10
I thought it was better than Zombi 3, but not by much. More gore, and an effective opening. Paper... more

Zombie Genocide

5/10
Sixty minute homemade zombie film. Admirable for a bunch of Scottish undergrads, but sloppy as all get out.

A Black Veil for Lisa

4/10
A police thriller in which the hero is a 60 year old detective who constantly thinks his 26 year... more

Beyond the Door

4/10
This film is an Italian Exorcist rip-off that takes forever to get to the puking, cursing demon action. The first two... more

Curious George

4/10
Very boring. Music gets annoying after a while.

Dario Argento’s Phantom of the Opera

4/10
After watching this, I think I am pretty close to having seen all of Argento’s films. I held off... more

Decoy

4/10
A mediocre crime film from the forties with lots of hammy acting and a thoroughly ridiculous plot involving reviving... more

Dolls

4/10
Stuart Gordan further assures us that Re-animator was a fluke. Bad acting, bad story, and horrible music. There is... more

Don’t Look Now

4/10
Don’t Look Now is known mostly for Donald Sutherland’s naked gyrations. I was more impressed with his hobbit-y mop of... more

Enchanted

4/10
Mildly Entertaining Disney faire

Entertainment

4/10
I’m sorry to report, but the Neil Hamburger movie isn’t that good. It’s not a movie about the Neil... more

Escape from the Bronx

4/10
A no-budget Italian ripoff of Escape from New York. Apparently, this is the sequel to Bronx Warriors so maybe... more

Fight Back to School

4/10
Stephen Chow could not save this tone deaf action/comedy. Made in the late eighties, there are maybe two or... more

Five Shaolin Masters

4/10
I just bought another Shaw Brothers box set and am watching the films in chronological order. This one has... more

Friday Foster

4/10
You know you are in trouble when the most convincing performance in your film is by Isaac from The Love... more

Interrabang

4/10
I am hesitant to call this a giallo even though it often appears on lists of the genre’s films.... more

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

4/10
The entire movie feels like a slick commercial for a luxury car. In fact, there may be more convincing... more

Meatball Machine

4/10
After seeing The Machine Girl I was itching for more Japanese splatter, but it turns out most of these movies suck.... more

Murder in an Etruscan Cemetery

4/10
In keeping with animal themed giallos, this is also known as The Scorpion with Two Tails. I don’t know... more

Robot Monster

4/10
One of the worst movies ever made.

Shanghai Fortress

4/10
Alright, time to dig in to some CGI-heavy, big budget, us vs. the blue LASER summer blockbuster fare from... more

Shin Godzilla

4/10
Jeez, this one felt like sitting through a two hour school board meeting. 95% of the movie is just... more

Sieben Tage Frist

4/10
Also known as School of Fear, this krimi is about a boarding school for boys where the students sneak... more

Split Second

4/10
An Alien or Predator rip-off starring Rutger Hauer which takes place in the post global warming world of 2008.... more

Strip Nude for Your Killer

4/10
Well, if there’s one thing you can say about this giallo, it’s that the title is not a lie.... more

The Devil With Seven Faces

4/10
George Hilton and Carrol Baker couldn’t rescue this hum-drum story from itself. I felt like nothing happened during the... more

The Devil’s Rain

4/10
Even Shatner and Ernest Borgnine in a goat mask can’t save this lame devil worshipers movie.

The Ghost Galleon

4/10
The third film in the Blind Dead series features the return of the terrifying cheap skeleton hand prop. A couple of models... more

The Happening

4/10
Bad acting and a cheesy premise.

The House of Clocks

4/10
Aside from the laugh-out-loud “twist” finale involving a cat, a bag and a car driving down a winding road,... more

The Mansion of Madness

4/10
This is a 70s low-budget version of a Poe tale by the director of Alucarda. A reporter goes to... more

The Reincarnation of Isabel

4/10
This is a confusing mess of a movie. Somewhere a midst the toplessness is a plot involving vampires, witches... more

The Sword and the Sorcerer

4/10
This corny early eighties fantasy opens with some great creature effects and then proceeds to bore the audience for... more

Thor: The Dark World

4/10
None of the actors except the guy who plays Loki appear to be having any fun. Everything just feels... more

Violent Province

4/10
This is a terrible Poliziotteschi about a ruthless cop who has been kicked off the force but is determined... more

You Don’t Mess With The Zohan

4/10
A heavy handed attempt at goofball comedy that fails at least 95% of the time. The makers of this... more

Zombi 3

4/10
Fulci literally phones this one in. A few interesting shots, but mostly poorly paced and horribly acted with no... more

Zonbi Jieitai

4/10
No-budget Japanese zombie movie with a dumb story a few good gore shots and lots of horrible iMovie-quality digital... more

A Bullet For Sandoval

3/10
A lame Italian Western that is only noteworthy because you get to see Ernest Borgnine gored by a bull... more

A Cat in the Brain

3/10
One would think that a meta movie about horror director Lucio Fulci being overwhelmed by the gruesome images he... more

Assignment Outer Space

3/10
Low budget sci-fi from the 50s. Only noteworthy for its hard-scifi aspirations.

Beyond the Black Rainbow

3/10
I really did not like this movie at all. I was really excited to watch it. The still frames... more

Crimson

3/10
Gangster/mad scientist movie that is only worth watching tsee the satyr burlesque number in the middle of the film.

Dark Waters

3/10
A Russian horror movie about a island convent that houses some sort of demon that is released when a... more

Dr. Goldfoot & The Girl Bombs

3/10
Mario Bava at his absolute worst. There is so much lost in translation and editing that this is barely... more

Dracula 3-D

3/10
I have finally gotten around to watching Dario Argento’s most recent movie—his 3-D take on the Dracula story. Everything... more

Five Man Army

3/10
Dario Argento wrote this boring Italian Western. Featuring a non-exciting action sequence of a man running for five minutes... more

Glass

3/10
Unbreakable was great. Split was pretty good too. Glass, however, is a piece of unmitigated garbage. The premise is... more

I Drink Your Blood

3/10
Low budget grindhouse production about killer, satanic hippies. Pretty boring. Only the last, zombie-flick inspired 10 minutes are kinda... more

Il Sorriso Del Ragno

3/10
A Eurocrime thriller about a fellow who gets wrapped up in a jewelry robbery. I’m not sure if he... more

Nightmares Come at Night

3/10
The only thing this Jess Franco movie has going for it is its score by Bruno Nicolai. The rest... more

Nocturne

3/10
I watched this because the music was by Gazelle Twin. Ostensibly a horror film but it plays mostly like... more

Pulse

3/10
Woah! Joey Lawrence fights a sentient electricity monster. This is a lame made-for-TV quality film that takes forever to... more

Split Second

3/10
A terrible sci-fi monster movie where the action exists mainly in the form of Rutger Hauer grabbing other characters... more

Terror Creatures from the Grave

3/10
I came across this movie when it was featured in a list of pre-Romero zombie movies. The only thing... more

The Creeping Flesh

3/10
A zero budget Hammer horror that’s built around a stupid looking monster skeleton that Peter Cushing is researching. Spill... more

Tropic of Cancer

3/10
Similarly to Jess Franco’s film Venus in Furs, this has nothing to do with the classic book of the... more

Ultraviolet

3/10
This not so much a movie as it is a seemingly endless collection of stylized hero shots. The dialogue... more

Undead

3/10
Really poorly handled zombie sci-fi movie from Australia. Bad acting, not enough gags, and boring.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

3/10
I was hoping for another Luc Besson film at least on par with The Fifth Element, but this was terrible.... more

World War Z

3/10
Well, the book wasn’t great, but at least it was a new twist on the zombie genre. The movie... more

Space Chimps

2/10
Horrible CGI and, except for a handful of gags, not worth your time.

The Plainsman

2/10
Gary Cooper stars in this black and white western about Buffalo Bill and Wild Bill Hickok. It’s a very... more

Zombi 5: Killing Birds

1/10
Absolutely horrible. It was like a student film from a C student. The overly loud sound of chirping insects... more