Movie Log: By Rating
Here are my movies listed in order or ranking, from best to worst. Ratings subject to change at any time.
Sieben Tage Frist
Also known as School of Fear, this krimi is about a boarding school for boys where the students sneak... more
Split Second
An Alien or Predator rip-off starring Rutger Hauer which takes place in the post global warming world of 2008.... more
Strip Nude for Your Killer
Well, if there’s one thing you can say about this giallo, it’s that the title is not a lie.... more
The Devil With Seven Faces
George Hilton and Carrol Baker couldn’t rescue this hum-drum story from itself. I felt like nothing happened during the... more
The Devil’s Rain
Even Shatner and Ernest Borgnine in a goat mask can’t save this lame devil worshipers movie.
The Ghost Galleon
The third film in the Blind Dead series features the return of the terrifying cheap skeleton hand prop. A couple of models... more
The Happening
Bad acting and a cheesy premise.
The House of Clocks
Aside from the laugh-out-loud “twist” finale involving a cat, a bag and a car driving down a winding road,... more
The Mansion of Madness
This is a 70s low-budget version of a Poe tale by the director of Alucarda. A reporter goes to... more
The Reincarnation of Isabel
This is a confusing mess of a movie. Somewhere a midst the toplessness is a plot involving vampires, witches... more
The Sword and the Sorcerer
This corny early eighties fantasy opens with some great creature effects and then proceeds to bore the audience for... more
Thor: The Dark World
None of the actors except the guy who plays Loki appear to be having any fun. Everything just feels... more
Violent Province
This is a terrible Poliziotteschi about a ruthless cop who has been kicked off the force but is determined... more
You Don’t Mess With The Zohan
A heavy handed attempt at goofball comedy that fails at least 95% of the time. The makers of this... more
Zombi 3
Fulci literally phones this one in. A few interesting shots, but mostly poorly paced and horribly acted with no... more
Zonbi Jieitai
No-budget Japanese zombie movie with a dumb story a few good gore shots and lots of horrible iMovie-quality digital... more
A Bullet For Sandoval
A lame Italian Western that is only noteworthy because you get to see Ernest Borgnine gored by a bull... more
A Cat in the Brain
One would think that a meta movie about horror director Lucio Fulci being overwhelmed by the gruesome images he... more
Assignment Outer Space
Low budget sci-fi from the 50s. Only noteworthy for its hard-scifi aspirations.
Beyond the Black Rainbow
I really did not like this movie at all. I was really excited to watch it. The still frames... more
Crimson
Gangster/mad scientist movie that is only worth watching tsee the satyr burlesque number in the middle of the film.
Dark Waters
A Russian horror movie about a island convent that houses some sort of demon that is released when a... more
Dr. Goldfoot & The Girl Bombs
Mario Bava at his absolute worst. There is so much lost in translation and editing that this is barely... more
Dracula 3-D
I have finally gotten around to watching Dario Argento’s most recent movie—his 3-D take on the Dracula story. Everything... more
Five Man Army
Dario Argento wrote this boring Italian Western. Featuring a non-exciting action sequence of a man running for five minutes... more
Glass
Unbreakable was great. Split was pretty good too. Glass, however, is a piece of unmitigated garbage. The premise is... more
I Drink Your Blood
Low budget grindhouse production about killer, satanic hippies. Pretty boring. Only the last, zombie-flick inspired 10 minutes are kinda... more
Il Sorriso Del Ragno
A Eurocrime thriller about a fellow who gets wrapped up in a jewelry robbery. I’m not sure if he... more
Nightmares Come at Night
The only thing this Jess Franco movie has going for it is its score by Bruno Nicolai. The rest... more
Nocturne
I watched this because the music was by Gazelle Twin. Ostensibly a horror film but it plays mostly like... more
Pulse
Woah! Joey Lawrence fights a sentient electricity monster. This is a lame made-for-TV quality film that takes forever to... more
Rumble in Hong Kong
An old Cantonese crime movie which is only noteworthy because Jackie Chan plays a thug with a giant black... more
Split Second
A terrible sci-fi monster movie where the action exists mainly in the form of Rutger Hauer grabbing other characters... more
Terror Creatures from the Grave
I came across this movie when it was featured in a list of pre-Romero zombie movies. The only thing... more
The Creeping Flesh
A zero budget Hammer horror that’s built around a stupid looking monster skeleton that Peter Cushing is researching. Spill... more
Tropic of Cancer
Similarly to Jess Franco’s film Venus in Furs, this has nothing to do with the classic book of the... more
Ultraviolet
This not so much a movie as it is a seemingly endless collection of stylized hero shots. The dialogue... more
Undead
Really poorly handled zombie sci-fi movie from Australia. Bad acting, not enough gags, and boring.
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
I was hoping for another Luc Besson film at least on par with The Fifth Element, but this was terrible.... more
World War Z
Well, the book wasn’t great, but at least it was a new twist on the zombie genre. The movie... more
Master of Disaster
Ugh. Complete garbage movie. Jackie Chan is in it for like 4 minutes and it has nothing to do... more
Space Chimps
Horrible CGI and, except for a handful of gags, not worth your time.
The Plainsman
Gary Cooper stars in this black and white western about Buffalo Bill and Wild Bill Hickok. It’s a very... more
Zombi 5: Killing Birds
Absolutely horrible. It was like a student film from a C student. The overly loud sound of chirping insects... more