Author: Robert Gomez
Ten Years of Toys by Toy Dolls - CD
I got this back when it came out and it was about the only way to get Toy Dolls on CD here in the States (I only had the first LP on vinyl at the time). I absolutely loved it at the time. Now, more than 20 years later, I still like the compilation but I can hear its flaws.
First and foremost these are not the original versions of the songs (in the case of songs from the Idle Gossip, it’s an improvement over that LP’s terrible production). I imagine this was just a way for the new record label to cash in on the band’s early hits without securing the rights to the original recordings (The tracks from Bare Faced Cheek are all the LP versions). For the most part, Toy Dolls are a consistent and professional band so new renditions aren’t going to differ much from the originals. However, listen closely… they are using a drum machine on 90% of the tracks! When I finally noticed this it almost killed this record for me. The drums are just so perfect and sterile sounding, especially when compared to skilled playing on their later records.
That said, it took me a decade to realize that those weren’t real drums. So, if you just want a good overview of some of the band’s finest songs this is a nice place to start.
Orcastrated by Toy Dolls - CD
What’s with the “Z” in Toy Dollz? That was the first sign that this might be a questionable release. In fact I think this was their weakest record. The sound is tinny and the songs just didn’t hook me. There are parts that are okay such as the chorus from “I Loathe You” or the Andrew LLoyd Webber cover, but nothing really jumps out as being great. After this came out I stopped buying Toy Dolls records. They have had a few good songs since then, but that’s what Spotify is for.
Absurd-Ditties by Toy Dolls - CD
After a string of just okay records, The Toy Dolls finally released an LP that almost stands up to their first recordings. I guess I like the raw, punk aesthetics of the first three records, but I have to admit that, despite the heavy metal-esque shredding solos, this record sounds great. The song highlights on this one are “My Wife’s a Psychopath,” “Toccata in Dm,” “Sod the Neighbours” and “Alec’s Gone.”
Fat Bob’s Feet by Toy Dolls - CD
Wakey Wakey! by Toy Dolls - CD
Memento Mori on PC
In the above scene from Memento Mori you are supposed to trick a little, abused girl into thinking she’s your friend. The only thing that’s missing is the white panel van and sick puppy dog. Fortunately, the rest of the game isn’t quite this creepy.
Memento Mori is a relatively easy 3-D point and click adventure that feels a lot like Broken Sword. You control two characters, male and female, as you try to unravel a mystery of stolen art, ancient monastic sects and murder. The plot is slow to develop and has much the same Christian treasure hunting vibe as The Da Vinci Code. The final twist is almost worth the slow journey. Some better pacing, snappier dialogue and richer characters would have helped a lot. As it is, it is just a mildly enjoyable way to pass some time if you have a couple bucks to spare.
The Da Vinci Code
Amazon recently gave this ebook away for free as a promotion for the sequel Inferno. It was my beach read for spring break this year. It’s an okay mystery thriller, but the writing is not terribly good (not that I’m one to judge such things). Actually, it’s really not much of a thriller or a mystery for that matter. It’s more of a straight forward treasure hunt. One treasure leads you to the next until you get to that final goal. I have no idea why this book was so successful. Maybe the underground Christianity themes impressed people? Not bad, but whatever.
Bare Faced Cheek by Toy Dolls - CD
From here on out, Toys Dolls records and songs start to follow a pretty standard formula. While every release is guaranteed to have a couple of good songs, there are more and more clunkers in the mix. Bare Faced Cheek may feature one of the worst album covers ever, but it also features one of the Toy Dolls best songs, “Fisticuffs in Frederick Street.” As for the rest of the album, “Ashbrooke Launderette” is good but tracks like “Howza Bouta Kiss Babe??!” are just too intentionally silly… well, at least more so than your usual Toy Dolls tune anyway.
How to Piss in Public: From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
When I started this book I was apprehensive. As much as I love Gavin’s current incarnation as a wild libertarian/conservative provocateur, I knew this wasn’t going to be a collection of political essays. Rather, it’s a memoir documenting his sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll filled early years, and, given his propensity to shock and offend, I wasn’t looking forward to reading about weird sex, self-inflicted STDs and the titular pissing in public. While the book is loaded with plenty of cringe-worthy anecdotes, Gavin is an astute storyteller who knows how to keep his readers invested, engaged and laughing all the way as he drags us through the muck.



