So, we know there’s been an worldwide pandemic and it involves a nasty rash and some inky vomit. Now that that is out of the way, let’s watch a paranoid family take in some house guests. This seems like a horror movie, but aside from a couple of dream sequences, it’s really just a mild thriller. By the end I was disappointed that the outside world’s goings-on were never really explained, but by then I was somewhat invested in the characters, although their actions in the climax didn’t quite make sense to me.
Set in early 20th Century, so much of this movie’s tension could be solved with a gun. Instead it’s a series of one-versus-many street brawls. The most likable character in the whole thing is the aging crime boss who our woman-slapping protagonist is seeking to replace. The fights are brutal and bloody, so it’s got that going for it.
The Shaolin formula is a non-monk enters the temple seeking to learn the tools of revenge. He undergoes ridiculous challenges and emerges seeing the error of his ways… but still gets revenge. The formula is in full effect here except, instead of a lone student, there are about a dozen of them. As such, the movie lacks any focus and by the time the end arrived, with its epic 15 minute battle, I didn’t care about anything that was happening. Shaolin challenges offered: pointy rocks, jumping with leg weights, deadly mechanical gauntlet and rice stirring.
Vanquish is a third-person action game that has little to offer in terms of plot or characters. Its story feels like every other Japanese console game. Devil May Cry 4 comes to mind, and if you liked that game, you have a problem. The dialogue is all painfully cliché and tries very hard to be hip with nerdy allusions to action movie lines and bad-ass hero shots. Pretty cringe inducing.
But all this is moot. This game is really about its fast-paced game-play and mechanics. While certainly not revolutionary, the ability to skid around the map at hyper-speed is fun and challenging. Add on top of that a little bullet-time and you have an enjoyable but mindless way to pass a few hours.
