Memento Mori on PC (5/10)

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In the above scene from Memento Mori you are supposed to trick a little, abused girl into thinking she’s your friend. The only thing that’s missing is the white panel van and sick puppy dog. Fortunately, the rest of the game isn’t quite this creepy.

Memento Mori is a relatively easy 3-D point and click adventure that feels a lot like Broken Sword. You control two characters, male and female, as you try to unravel a mystery of stolen art, ancient monastic sects and murder. The plot is slow to develop and has much the same Christian treasure hunting vibe as The Da Vinci Code. The final twist is almost worth the slow journey. Some better pacing, snappier dialogue and richer characters would have helped a lot. As it is, it is just a mildly enjoyable way to pass some time if you have a couple bucks to spare. 

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown (6/10)

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Amazon recently gave this ebook away for free as a promotion for the sequel Inferno. It was my beach read for spring break this year. It’s an okay mystery thriller, but the writing is not terribly good (not that I’m one to judge such things). Actually, it’s really not much of a thriller or a mystery for that matter. It’s more of a straight forward treasure hunt. One treasure leads you to the next until you get to that final goal. I have no idea why this book was so successful. Maybe the underground Christianity themes impressed people? Not bad, but whatever.

Bare Faced Cheek by Toy Dolls - CD (8/10)

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From here on out, Toys Dolls records and songs start to follow a pretty standard formula. While every release is guaranteed to have a couple of good songs, there are more and more clunkers in the mix. Bare Faced Cheek may feature one of the worst album covers ever, but it also features one of the Toy Dolls best songs, “Fisticuffs in Frederick Street.” As for the rest of the album, “Ashbrooke Launderette” is good but tracks like “Howza Bouta Kiss Babe??!” are just too intentionally silly… well, at least more so than your usual Toy Dolls tune anyway.

How to Piss in Public: From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood by Gavin McInnes (9/10)

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When I started this book I was apprehensive. As much as I love Gavin’s current incarnation as a wild libertarian/conservative provocateur, I knew this wasn’t going to be a collection of political essays. Rather, it’s a memoir documenting his sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll filled early years, and, given his propensity to shock and offend, I wasn’t looking forward to reading about weird sex, self-inflicted STDs and the titular pissing in public. While the book is loaded with plenty of cringe-worthy anecdotes, Gavin is an astute storyteller who knows how to keep his readers invested, engaged and laughing all the way as he drags us through the muck.

Idle Gossip by Toy Dolls - CD (10/10)

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This is the last truly great Toy Dolls record. It could have been their best release, but it suffers from some odd production choices, mainly the drums sound like they were recorded in a drain tunnel. Later records have a definite formula to them (and a more hottt metal lyxxx guitar style). The band was still finding its sound here and the result is still within the realm of genuine punk rock. The title track, “Lambrusco Kid,” “Harry Cross,” and “Pete’s Practice Space” are all winners (better recordings of all these are on the Ten Years of Toys compilation).

A Far Out Disc by Toy Dolls - CD (10/10)

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Toy Dolls second album has a little more polish than the first and even includes a radio spot for that first LP! While every Toy Dolls album is guaranteed to have at least one classic song, this once again chock full of ’em: “She Goes to Finos,” “Carol Dodds Is Pregnant,” “Bless You My Son,” “We’re Mad” and “Florence Is Deaf.”

Dig That Groove Baby by Toy Dolls - CD (10/10)

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Toy Dolls skirt the edge of punk rock and novelty music. As such there will be some people who will find them very annoying, but I love them. Who could hate such happy, fun music? Dig that Groove Baby is probably my favorite release by the band. This was before they completely locked in on their formula. The songs are varied and have a rawness that is missing from most of their later records. “Dig that Groove baby,” “Dougy Giro,” “Glenda and the Test Tube Baby,” and “Nellie the Elephant” are each classics, and that’s just the first side of the LP!