Shanghai Fortress

Alright, time to dig in to some CGI-heavy, big budget, us vs. the blue laser summer blockbuster fare from that other world superpower, China! Turns out that stealing intellectual property is no royal road to film effects that look even remotely realistic. There are better effects in a bottom-tier episode of Xena: Warrior Princess than there are in this hyperactive mess. Millions of things are flying around the screen and no way to tell what’s going on at any given moment. That can be overlooked if you hinge that on an interesting story. But, no. This is beyond afternoon teen drama levels of stupid. A gifted cadet is in love with the general and stresses over telling her happy birthday while an alien apocalypse is raining from the sky. It’s stalker level stuff. At least most of the characters kill themselves in the end. Oops. Spoiler alert!